Switchpin: 4 for 4 on Mayhem Festival
If metal was a sport then Switchpin would have four Mayhem Festival medals dangling from their well headbanged necks. They have gone 4 for 4 playing regional Mayhem Festivals on the Jagermeister Stage with #4 being July 17th in Denver, Colorado. Besides Mayhem they have performed and toured with Korn, Slayer, Pennywise, Hatebreed, Type O Negative and a whole bucketload of others over their extensive career. Switchpin songs are catchy hook monsters and live they have been known to sell power back to the city after their set from the energy they generated on stage. (Switchpin: The Environmentally Friendly Mosh Makers ™) They are also known for their senses of humor which is why I put them in the universally feared interrogation device known as “The Gauntlet.”
(Rules of The Gauntlet: I send a band 50 questions, they must choose at least 12 ranging from the standard to the stupid and try to survive the answering process.)
Tell me why your band rules? or why it sucks?
Pat: We rule because we rule! We suck, because we rule. And we are upper mediocrity, cause, we RULE! Like o’doyle, or san dimas highschool football.
Describe your sound.
Pat: Colorado NeetoCore
Geoff: neeto cheeto, dragon-coming-coming-out-of-your-speakers… core…
Pat: music, and a birdhouse
Geoff: Music, Duh.
Why metal? Why not polka? or emo? or classical? or..?
Pat: It’s either metal, or country. Which do you want to hear?
Jimmy: Cause I look cool in Black
Geoff: We don’t look good in lederhosen, or makeup
Who’s the craziest band member?
*everyone points to the left
Jimmy: Clinically Proven…ME…Are those my feet??
Geoff: Chris(Road Crew) Cause he has to smell my feet, and doesn’t get paid a dime.
Top 2 stupidest things you’ve ever done.
Pat: We aren’t tellin’ Those were hard-earned mistakes.
Geoff: Went commando on stage, and forgot to zip it up.
What’s the history of the band?
Pat: Long, drawn out, and torrid…very torrid. 2012 will be our 10th anniversary.
Geoff: It starts out with the birds, and the bees, then we were made
How often do you guys practice and why?
Pat: We don’t. Refer to the “rule/suck” answer
Geoff: We play softball every Thursday
What’s the bands philosophy?
Pat: Write, PBR, Jager, Write, Repeat, Tour
Jimmy: POSITIVE-MENTAL-MOTHERF**KIN-ATTITUDE!!! …Neeto huh???
Geoff: Can you use smaller words please?
Heath Ledger or Jack Nicholson?
Pat: Jack Nicholson, hands down. He can play MANY levels of crazy. Dude, imagine Nicholson in Brokeback Mtn.. creeeeepy…
Jimmy: Well I got Jack Nicholson tattoo’d on my leg, So go figure
Geoff: Jack, because he’s one of the three wise men…
Pat: You are most certainly are a sick fuck.
Who are your influences?
Pat: Ourselves… (I’ve always wanted to say that!!!)
Jimmy: Starbucks coffee and Souper Salad
Peace or freedom? (You can’t have both.)Why?
Pat: Freedom isn’t free No, there’s a hefty fuckin’ fee
Jimmy: PEACE…Because I said so
Geoff: Freedom, cause Mel Gibson made it metal (breaveheart)
What bands would you like to go on tour with?
Pat: Bands who rule, and suck just as much as us!
Jimmy: Any bands that could tolerate me
Geoff: Richard Cheese, Weird Al, and Abba
Do you have a CD coming out? What’s the scoop on that? Where did you record, style, songs etc.
Pat: Yes, at some point, we’re tracking in September.
Geoff: gonna cram a mike in a PBR can for a “richer” sound
What was the last song you listened to before this interview?
What’s the most embarrassing band you listen to?
Jimmy: I heard your band once…That was pretty embarrassing tbh
Pat: I’m hooked on Katy Perry djent covers
Geoff: Donald Duck Disco
Any tours planned?
Jimmy: YES… …That was a easy question, more like this please
Geoff: Moe’s BBQ world tour
Why should people go to your shows?
Pat: Why shouldn’t they?
Jimmy: Eh cause we’ll be there? …OH and we RAWWWK…I think
Geoff: Cause if they don’t, I’ll kill them.
If you were facing unbeatable and fatal odds what song would you want to check out to?
Pat: Probably anything Faith No More
Geoff: Chicken Dance
Describe your playing style.
Pat: Drums, or Boobs?
Geoff: I hit a string, it makes a noise
Stella or Guinness?
Jimmy: Well I am Irish…So NOT Guinness, It taste like blended up black sh!t…I just sold out my entire country right there…LAGER LAGER LAGER
Pat: Well, I have an irish first name, but I am neither irish, nor American-Irish (whatever the fuck that means) Soo, I’ll say jagermeister, and PBR
What bands should quit forever and never be seen or heard from again?
Pat: Oh we all know these answers… Just wish those bands would realize it…
Jimmy: That’s a bit of a harsh question… …But now that you asked, No No I can’t
Geoff: The Darkness
What would you like to say to your fans?
Pat: “Oh, hey hot fans…”
Jimmy: “Whats wrong with you???”
Where did your band name come from?
Pat: picked two words out of a hat, and put them together
There’s a good chance you will look back and be embarrassed by your current hairstyle. Discuss.
Pat: current is ok, I’m looking back to 2003, and cringing a bit, however.
Jimmy: That’s why I keep a little bit of every haircut…I’m rocking about 7 different styles here.
Geoff: chin beavers are ALWAYS in fashion
If you could accomplish one thing in a music career what would it be? When you achieve that will you quit?
Pat: The brown note, and no!
Jimmy: Just to be able to play it care free without the pressure of money. Quit? HELL F**KIN NO
Geoff: Learn how to play my instrument, and then switch to drums
Geoff: vinyl, so 70’s
Would you accept 1 million dollars now to give up any and all music forever?
Pat: I know some people who would… Music transcends all money. No.
Jimmy: Have you got a million dollars??? Questioned Answered
Geoff: No, with inflation, the way it is. That’ll be “dollar menu” at Mc D’s in no time
What pro musicians would you like to study with?
Geoff: Christina Aguilera, I can study her all day
What are your thoughts on the music scene in general?
Geoff: It’s like “Glee” without all the gay shit
What really pisses you off?
Jimmy: Questions that ask, ‘What really pisses you off?’
Geoff: Babies, and butterflies
Who the fuck do you think you are?
Jimmy: I’m that guy in that band…
Pat: I’m Pat!
Geoff: The guy that plays bass, duh.
If you could ask yourself one question what would it be?
Geoff: “Geoff, why do you masturbate so much?”
Are you artsy or are you fartsy?
Jimmy: I think I’m both…I have my profound moments.
Geoff: Fartsy, like Pig pen.
What is the loneliest number?
Jimmy: My phone number
Without looking which presidents are on which bills?
Geoff: Hillary, and Palin
Who in the band gets the most chicks?
Jimmy: Are we talking Mail order??? Cause I just max’d out my credit card on Power Rangers and a Beavis and Butthead Box set
Geoff: groupies, sluts, librarians? Coz I pull them all.
Fun Fact! When Switchpin returned The Gauntlet to me they changed the name of the file to “The Guntlet”.